* Mom2Mom: In Bondage to Blogging? *

I didn't know it could be so complicated. This whole blogging thing. 


I entered the world of blogging five years ago. It was for connection, plain and simple. I had been diagnosed with infertility and wanted to connect with other women on the same heart-rending journey. 


And I did. Wonderfully so. Some of those women have become my best friends and I have even met a few of them, even though they are spread not only throughout the United States, but also into different countries.


Then I thought, "Hey! I love to write and my passion is women, so why not start a blog for ministry purposes?"


So I did. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. About everything under the sun, from marriage and infertility to being in eating disorder recovery and wanting to live an all-natural lifestyle. 


Then, a year ago, something happened. I heard, that if your reader base on your blog is big enough, you can make money. Money through advertisements on your side bar and even writing review periodically. And then I discovered, that companies want to give you things if you have a readership. Cool stuff, like kid's toys and books that I normally wouldn't have the money to buy. 


I added to the pressure. This year I began Mama Buzz. What was I thinking?


So I start reading. And I learn what you have to do to get your blog traffic increased. How to check your stats and see how you rate and how to approach your blogging as a job, not just a hobby. My problem is, I have begun to approach it as an obsession. 


Last week, as my daughter tugged at my pant legs crying for attention, I realized I had been chained to my computer for several hours. I had been checking my stats, trying to network, trying to contact people for giveaways and trying to plan blog posts that people will flock to. 


And then it hit me--this is not what I am called to do with my life. I have been called to be:


A wife, a mom, and an author - - not a full time blogger. 


Sure, my intentions are great!  Ultimately, my intentions are to support my family. I mean, what could be better than the blogging mom I saw on Oprah one day that is bringing in $1,000'S a month from her blog?  I'd be combining my love of writing with making some extra for my family. Extra for the vacation we haven't been able to go on in three years, the camera I'm dying to buy, and everything we need to bring our forever children home to stay. 


But at what cost?  Ignoring my child?  Foregoing time with my husband in the evening because I have "one more thing to do?  Tweeting more than reading with my daughter?  Contacting companies for products more than baking healthy meals?


I found myself overwhelmed and frustrated. For all the time invested, I had little to show. Only 46 followers, not even 100 comments on a CD giveaway, and no one joining my Twitter profile. Technorati booted my profile with their new upgrade and my Google page-rank got spanked again. Even worse? No one had commented a post I poured my heart into. 


In those moments, I came to a crossroads in my blogging. I knew I could keep on the way I was, going crazy trying to become the do-all, top blogger in blog land. . . .

or I could stop and re-evualate my priorities and goals.

The conclusion I came to?  My heart is in motherhood and in writing books more than blogging, but I lost those heart dreams along the way in my quest for top-blogger. 


This past week found a difference in my use of time. I haven't checked my stats in 7 days now. I haven't commented any blogs in an effort to get comments on mine. I haven't tweeted that much and I've forgotten to ping most of my blog posts. 


Instead, I've spent time with my daughter and the daycare kids. Playing with them, reading with them, and doing one-on-one time with them. My times online have been limited to early mornings and naptimes. By 6 each night, I shut down. 


I still want to make money from my blogs, but it's not an obsession anymore. My end synopsis on the entire matter is, if God wants my blog to be popular enough to 


1. Minister to people


and


2. Help support my family


    then He will bring the people my way. Simplified logic? Perhaps. Doesn't mean I'm going to be a blog snob and never visit anyone's blog, only expecting them to visit mine. It does mean, however, I'm going to be spending time with  my husband and daughter, not commenting bloggers. 


     And hopefully, it means,  that the manuscripts that I have been called to write, will be dusted off and added to in coming weeks. Just not during my scheduled blog times. And definitely not during my beautiful family times!


How about you?


1.  Do you find yourself in bondage to blogging?  Some tell-tale signs might be:

• Checking your blog stats at all hours of the day to see if they've changed
• Checking any comments on your blog
• Feeling a twinge of jealousy when someone states that they were approached by a company for a giveaway but you weren't.
• Looking up to realize that three hours have passed like 5 minutes and your kids are amusing themselves, while you frantically worked at advertising your blog so traffic would build up.
• Experiencing frustration when you get up from the computer at the laundry that is waiting, the dishes in the sink, and the mess on the floor.
• Falling into bed at night, feeling like something isn't right because you haven't spent enough time with your children.

Challenge:  Jot down your start and end times at the computer this week. At the end of the week, see how many hours were spent blogging or doing social networking related work.
      Jot down your start and end times with your children. Tally them up at the end of the week.
      Jot down your start and end times with your hubby. Tallly it all up at the end of the week. 




From my Mama's heart to yours,
Melissa j

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