* Mothering Heights: A Novel Approach for Christian Mothers *

Mothering Heights: A Novel Approach for Christian Mothers
by Keitha Smith and Susan Brereton.

Retail Value: $15.00

Book summary: This encouraging book uses the charm of timeless literary works and the wisdom of the Bible to reconsider what is seen today as a classic role. Using selected quotes from novels including Sense and Sensibility, Treasure Island, and Great Expectations, the authors offer encouragement and exhortation to women of all walks of life who struggle and strive to be intentional in their parenting choices.

Author Bios:

Susan Brereton is a former New Zealand resident currently living in England. She is a wife, mother of five children, and an interior designer. For many years, Susan has run a Bible study for mothers of preschool children, and has had a long association with the Navigators and Moms-in-Touch.

Keitha Smith lives in New Zealand with her husband and two children, including one with special needs. With a background in training and education, Keitha leads the women’s ministry group at her church and serves on the local school’s board of trustees.
Check out Keitha's fictional Mother's Prayer Blog ,The Jonah Tree. Also visit www.MotheringHeights.org.

A sample chapter is available for review on the Mothering Heights website.

*Disclosure: Mama Buzz and reviewers received a complimentary of Mothering Heights for review purposes



Mothering Heights by Keitha Smith and Susan Crereton has found it's niche on my bookshelf of favorite motherhood books. This is a book that contains though-provoking chapters. Chapters that give me so much food for thought, I could ponder one chapter for several days. I really appreciate that in a book.

The concept that Mothering Heights is built on is intriguing to an avid reader like me. Keitha and Susan took classics such as Pride and Prejudice, Portrait of a Lady, A Room with a View, and Great Expectations and built each of their chapters around the book. Using quotes from the book, they spun their chapter around each thought provoking theme.

For instance, Great Expectations set the stage for a discussion on what our own expectations as mothers are, as well as meeting the expectations of those around us, as we parent our children. My favorite chapter, based on the novel A Room with a View, centered around servanthood, which essentially, is another name for motherhood.

In addition to using quotes from the book, each chapter is also rounded out with verses, which only adds to the depth of the written words.

For those who are not avid readers, and who have not enjoyed classics through the years, this book may be too much for them. It isn't easy reading, though that is not necessarily a drawback. Sometimes we need books that will give us food for thought, and Mothering Heights provides that. 

Mel's Thoughts:
Mothering Heights could not have come at a better time for me.   Written by Keitha Smith and Susan Brereton, it is full of tidbits of wisdom and encouragement for all moms out there, whether stay-at-home moms or moms who work outside the home.  It is a book that really lays everything out on the line, including the misconceptions we had about motherhood before we had children, the expectations we face every day as mothers, and our role as mothers, with our children, within our individual families. 

The chapters in this book are titled after classic novels, such as Great Expectations, Pride and Prejudice, etc.  Just to quote from the book, These have been chosen not only because they succintly summarize the flavor of the chapter content, but also because, in a way, the notion of traditional motherhood has been relegated to that of a classic: something that once was commonplace but now is regarded as somewhat outmoded.  Yet just as some books remain timeless and very popular, there are aspects of being a mother that transcend time and culture because they are of God and God's truth.  Also included in each chapter are quotes from the different literary works that just go along with the chapter content or enhance the content.  At the end of each chapter are discussion questions for the reader to consider or that would make great discussion in a Bible study group/mothers' group.

Lately, I've often commented to my husband how, with all of the advice and topics covered in the world today, it almost feels like you have to be this Stepford wife, or else you're told your kids could grow up to be sociopaths or have behavioral issues, or whatever.  I felt myself relating to not only the authors and topics they covered, but to the other women in the book, whose thoughts they incorporated into each chapter.  There was one portion of the book that was dedicated to giving the reader inspirational examples of Biblical motherhood from the Bible.  Examples like Sarah, Rebekah, Mary, Hannah, and even Mordecai, who although he wasn't a mother, was still a parent.  It was easy to get the gist of much of the book, that clearly, God's expectations are the only ones that truly matter in this life, especially when it comes to being a mother.

I loved the chapter on Sense and Sensibility.  I think I loved it because I love lists.:)  Truly, though, it offered lists of suggestions on Your Relationship With God, Your Relationship With Your Husband, Parenting, Your Health and Well-Being, Managing Your Household, and Finances.  They weren't musts, but suggestions.

The role of Mother is very simply a servant role....and while we are bombarded with all kinds of media, advice, and tips on the subject, it always comes back to what God expects of us, as individuals and what He deems best for our own families....it's not about what the family next door is doing, and it's not even about what your mother did.  It's what is best for your family.  I recommend this book to any mother-to-be and every mother out there.....it is something I will probably keep going back to, especially on those tough days, when I see no light at the end of the tunnel.:)  You can get a copy of Mothering Heights for $12.00 on the Judson Press site. 

* You're Doing a Good Job Mom *

From an email forward that came my way. . .

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone
and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see
I'm on the phone?" Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone,
or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the
corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible; "The
Invisible Mom."

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a
clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, What
number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30,
please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude
- but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be
seen again. She's going, she's going, and she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of
a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous
trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was
sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.
It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down
at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was
clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid
I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty
pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package,
and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals
of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read
her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of
what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great
cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave
their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made
great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building
was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a
tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,
'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that
will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman
replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I
see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you
does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no
cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.
You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what
it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn
pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great
builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will
never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be
on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals
could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people
willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4
in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That
would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him
to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to
his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world
will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that
has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

* Mom2Mom - Doing One on One with Each of our Children *

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I have one child but I also do daycare, bringing my child total to three on weekdays and four on Saturdays. Ages are

2

2

3 1/2

5

     In the first weeks, I attempted to do things with them as a group. It worked to a point but then, it turned into total frustration.

     Even more frustration came when I tried to teach them something. Colors for example. If one child responded to my question of "What color is this?", first, with the wrong answer, the other two children inevitably responded with the wrong answer.
   
      I'm a bit slow sometimes. After weeks of this happening, I had an ah-ha moment one day, to start teaching them in one-on-one times. Granted, this is hard and takes up most of the hours in my day - hours that are precious and in which I would like to be doing things like sewing or working out - but the results have been awesome.

      With one-on-one time, the child I'm working with, seems to get it. Instead of being led astray by wrong answers and instead of competing for my ears, they actually take the time to think through their answer. Not only that, the one-on-one time usually ends with a cuddle or two, as they seem to just soak in the fact they got undivided attention.

     This takes time. And it takes creativity. One child learns colors by playing with a Colors and Shapes Puzzle  

. Another learns best with Color Flash Cards
.

Still another learns with hands-on, like playing with Play-Doh 

.
      Motherhood is a sacrifice. It is a sacrifice of money, sleep, and often, time. It would be easier if each child could learn best in a group setting. And yet, if they did, I would miss that light bulb moment that I glimpse first hand. I would miss the random arms around my neck because they are so excited I'm doing something with them. I would miss watching them learn a new color and clap because they got it.

     And I would miss really getting to know each child. Their personality and their learning style. When I do this one-on-one with them, so much more than just teaching them colors happens. I am learning. I am learning what makes them tick and I am learning what they love to do.

    My kiddo that does playdough?  He loves to draw. Art is his style, learning-wise and talent wise. Because I know this, I now seek out opportunities for him to enhance those talents.

       My girl that loves flashcards?  Books and reading is her thing, even at 2. So I seek to expose her to as many books as possible, even showing her what words I'm reading sometimes.

      Puzzle girl?  She loves to move. All the time. Her passion is dancing. After we move puzzle pieces, we get up and we dance together. Then, with as much abandon as she just used to dance, she jumps on me to hug me.

     These are moments I don't feel I have time for most days and yet, they are moments I can't afford to miss. They become mental snapshots in my mind of each individual child. Snapshots that I will carry with me as they progress into childhood and adolescents. My prayer, is they are snapshots for the children too.


What about you?

• Do you make it a point to spend one-on-one with each one of your children on a daily basis? This can be hard for you moms that have multiple children (I know!) but it's so crucial.
• What are your different children's learning styles?
• What are your children's passions and strengths? Are you seeing to ehance those through various means?

From my mama's heart to yours,

Melissa j

* Mom Needs Chocolate: Review and Giveaway *

***Special thanks to Rebeca Seitz of Glass Road Public Relations, LLC for sending me a review copy.***

Mom Needs Chocolate: Hugs, Humor and Hope for Surviving Motherhood   by Deb Coty

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1. How did this book come to be?
   
   

I ran into ragged-out, frazzled women everywhere I went who, like me, cried out for a glimmer of light at the end of the motherhood tunnel. Mom Needs Chocolate is encouragement from a mom who’s been there to moms with their feet currently stuck in the muck of the joy-sucking dully-funks, that we can, indeed, crawl out the end of that tunnel with our faith (and humor) not only intact, but actually stronger than it was before.

   

2. You covered a LOT in this book. Any woman who reads this book will feel that you hit on something that she can relate to (many "somethings", in fact!)  Any chapters that are especially near and dear to your own heart?
   
   

When I’m asked to choose one chapter to share, I usually pick “Even Moses Started Out as a Basket Case.”  All moms can relate to the ridiculous situations their children get into, and how we can learn spiritual lessons in the most unexpected ways.

I’m currently working on a new book that will also cover A LOT: Too Stressed to Feel Blessed: And Other Feminine Fairy Tales. I’d love to invite your gal readers aged 18-65 to contribute data by jogging over to my website http://www.deboracoty.com/  and filling out a short time management survey. They’ll be entered in a drawing for a wonderful stress survival kit and their data will be included in the book!

3.  How do you balance motherhood with writing (and all the other demands on your schedule)?

I gave up sleep. You have to be careful what you pray for. I asked God for more hours in the day and He sent me early menopause. Now I have all night, too.

4.  I have to ask - - how in the world did you explain the lion-peeing incident to your work and your husband??? (I'm still laughing over that one!)

Thank you for your sympathy. That was a tough one. But thankfully most folks knew me well enough to not be shocked by anything. Even coming back from lunch dripping from head to toe with feline urine. 

5.  There are moms who will read this book, and see that one of the main themes is keeping a sense of humor in the midst of life. However, some of those moms are going to read this and say, "Debora, there is no humor in my life whatsoever. Only heartache. I just gave birth to a stillborn . . .  My husband recently left me for another woman . . .  My three year old has leukemia . . . I have post-partum depression that has me incapacitated . . . . I have terminal cancer and I have to leave my three children without a Mama . . . " Do you have any words of encouragement to these women, who feel hope and humor is beyond reach?

My heart truly goes out to women who, because of circumstances totally beyond their control, they feel they have no hope. That’s why, in my newest devotional, Everyday Hope, I point again and again to our only source of hope, a deep trust with roots that extend from the beginning of time to the infinite future. Our hope is not just the anticipation of heaven, but the expectation of a fulfilling life walking beside our Creator during our limited days on earth. 2 Thessalonians 2:16 (CEV): “God our Father loves us. He is kind and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope”. Trust is clinging to that hope with your fingernails even when your heart is too weary to feel it.

6.  What is your favorite kind of chocolate.

I’m a nutty Cadbury girl. But I wouldn’t turn down any of that delightful, decadent, creamy stuff . . . after all, my motto is God, Godiva and girlfriends – what more do we need? 

To win a copy of this book, simply leave a comment, with your email address below!

M2M: Trusting God Through the Tough Times

It's so hard, not just as a mom, but as a human being, to trust God when all else around seems to be crumbling.  At least it is for me.  It's easy for me to trust Him when things are going great, and we are on top of the mountain....but girl, when that valley hits, let me tell ya, it's not so easy then.   All my life I have leaned on the verses from Proverbs 3:5,6- Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  Oh sure, I have used that as a life verse at times, but I can honestly say that I have also struggled with that same trust my whole life. 

When we've been up on the mountain top, it's been easy to look around and just feel so blessed and trust Him because during that time, we are relieved of the many life pressures that assault us during the valley times.  Not to say that life is necessarily easy during the mountain times, but it's just less stress/pressure.  We've been through our share of valleys, though.  Right now is a bit of a valley for us.  Spiritually and emotionally, it's been one of the best times of my life....and I can say for Dan too.  We have finally found a church home, we are making friends, our kids are growing and learning, and we are just happy where we are at.  We're content.....At the same time, we're also going through a bit of a crunch, financially.  With Dan trying to start up a new shop, it's been tight, and sometimes we have to get the bare bones at the grocery store.  We are learning to budget more wisely, and we're doing ok; God is providing for us.  But it feels like a bit of a valley right now, in the financial realm.  Money does not make the person, I know, but it pays the bills....as we all know.:)

God totally slapped me on the hand this week, though.  He honestly woke me up from what felt like a valley....and He turned my day into a mountain top.....I have to tell you this story because I'm just amazed at His provision and His love and His mercy to us, even when we are tempted to doubt....He's still there, even in the smallest of things.  I went to make our grocery list and menu for the next week; it was my dreaded chore of the day.  As I pulled up the grocery store ads online, I began planning out the menu, according to what was on sale, and at the same time I started to fill out the grocery list.  As I realized things we were totally out of (our kitchen was depleted pretty badly), I started looking more closely at what was on sale, and just about everything on my list was in the ads....even diapers were on sale.  I really couldn't believe it when I saw that milk was on sale.  I just kept sifting through, and everything God knew we were out of, He was showing me His way of providing for our family......I think my mouth just dropped to the floor.  When I was doubting, wondering how I could get what we needed, He gave me that slap on the hand and showed me Who He is....He is the Great Provider.  He does care about even the little things in our lives.  

It was just encouraging to realize that even when I doubt, no matter the circumstance, He is there....all I have to do is trust and lean into Him, instead of questioning and wondering.  Trusting God through the tough times is what's going to build character in me, and it's what's going to build character in you.  It's those refining fires during those valley times that will help us to grow.

Love, Mel 
To read more from Mel, head on over to Real Heart Prints.

* Mom2Mom - Stop, Love, and Pray! *

I'm not a screamer but I got close to taking on that identity one day last week. Three daycare kids, ages 5, 3 1/2, and 1 1/2, and my own 1 1/2 year old had me at the brink. One can only say "No!"  and remove tiny hands from areas they don't belong in, while bodily placing writhing bodies in time out, just so many times without seriously considering downing a mega sized candy bar while screaming at the top of their lungs.

Well, I can't anyways. . .

 I was not feeling the love. At all. The only things I was experiencing were frustration and a complete sense of being overwhelmed. The day did not end well. They were spending the night, thus drawing out the long day.  One kid had gone inside of himself and refused to cuddle and two others whimpered to sleep, while writhing in my arms. Finally, I went and crawled into my own bed and as I laid down I told God, "I can not do this. I simply can NOT!"

In that moment I got slammed with the loving rebuke,

"Melissa, you didn't try praying for them today."

"Oh, you have got to me kidding me!" was my first thought. I'm supposed to stop and pray with screaming, naughty toddlers that are drinking toilet water and drawing on the walls!?"


"Now Melissa, don't be dramatic".  I swear I could hear God laughing at me. "I don't mean in that moment. But you could stop and pray with them in the non-naughty moments. With them and for them."

I'm ashamed to say I fell asleep that night with a "yeah, whatever" mindset about that whole concept. 

The next morning, God was back at it.   (He just doesn't let things alone sometimes . . .   ;-) 

The first thing my eyes fell on that morning was a prayer shawl draped over the chair in my bedroom. I do not attend a denomination that uses prayer shawls but I have a friend who does - -and when I first learned I was pregnant she gave me the prayer shawl to later use to swaddle my little one in. As I glanced at it, my heart stirred.

"Today, if those children are naughty, you get that prayer shawl and you get right on the floor with them, draw them into your lap, cuddle and snuggle them, and pray for them and you."

There is no magic in that prayer shawl. That's not why I am using it now. It has nothing to do with power or magic or anything else.

What it does carry, is a reminder to  

Stop (running through my to-do list)

Love (on kiddos who may be misbehaving because I was so busy with my to-do list)

Cuddle and snuggle (cuz I can use a cuddle and snuggle as much as they can)


and

Pray (for them  - - and especially for me to be who they need me to be)


Can I challenge you today, if it's a particularly trying day, to stop, love, and pray!?  See what a difference it makes. It might not stop the cat from being baptized or the pots from being un-planted but it will help you cope with those things without assuming a fetal position and wishing for death. :-)  And guaranteed, you'll get some love bursts for the kids out of the deal while you're at it!  Yes, even the kid that just cut her brother's hair. . . .